I used to be indecisive. Now I’m not so sure

Paraprosdokian

Frequently used for humorous or dramatic effect – a paraprosdokian is a figure of speech in which the latter part of a sentence or phrase is surprising or unexpected in a way that causes the reader or listener to re-frame or re-interpret the first part.
For this reason, it is extremely popular among comedians and satirists.

  1. “I sleep eight hours a day and at least ten at night.” —Bill Hicks
  2. “You can always count on the Americans to do the right thing—after they have tried everything else.” —Winston Churchill
  3. Do not argue with an idiot. She/he will drag you down to her/his level and beat you with experience
  4. The last thing I want to do is hurt you. But it’s still on my list.
  5. Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.
  6. If I agreed with you, we’d both be wrong.
  7. To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism. To steal from many is research.
  8. A bus station is where a bus stops. A train station is where a train stops. On my desk, I have a work station.
  9. Behind every successful man is his woman telling him that he is wrong.
  10. I used to be conceited but now I am perfect.
  11. Money can’t buy happiness, but it sure makes misery easier to live with.
  12. I used to be indecisive. Now I’m not so sure.
  13. A diplomat is someone who tells you to go to hell in such a way that you look forward to the trip.

 

Suresh Shah, M.D., Pathfinders Enterprise

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